


Corrupting Influences or It’s All the Doctor’s Fault

by Dancingsalome



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:09:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4369637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingsalome/pseuds/Dancingsalome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For all he claims to dislike the Earth and its population, the Master seems to have adopted, and enjoys, quite a few human habits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Corrupting Influences or It’s All the Doctor’s Fault

Know thy enemy may be an Earth adage, but true nevertheless. When the Master decided to spend some time there, he concluded that it would be a good idea to try to find out whatever it was the Doctor found so appealing about the planet. Unfortunately one result when you study something carefully is, even if you find it repulsive at first, that you eventually get used to it and may even seem attractive in the end, much to the Master’s dismay.

The Master doesn’t mind admitting to being vain. Why should there be anything wrong in wanting to present oneself in the most favourable light possible? Sharp dressing serves to accentuate a dominant mind, at least that is what he thinks. Whenever he comes to a new planet he takes care to find out where one can get properly dressed. London may be little more than a pit, but it does have Savile Row, and the Master regales himself to the very best it can offer. He is quite pleased with the result so he vows to make sure his favourite tailor is not be obliterated by mistake. The Doctor, predictably enough, blithely disregards what the Master sees as one of Earth’s few redeeming qualities and opts for garish colours and velvet in his wardrobe. He would, the Master thinks, as he carefully brushes away dust from the expensive wool on his impeccably tailored coat sleeve.

Human, as a species, seems rather inclined to self-destruction. For example they insist on inhaling smoke, filling their lungs with tar or indulging in alcoholic drinks that every sane person realises is toxic for their weak bodies. The Master with his superior physique need not worry about any ill effects and finds he enjoys a cigar or a good drink in his quiet moments, especially when he has found an interesting new book to read.

Grudgingly he has to concede that this planet’s literature is probably the thing he finds most enjoyable. He can even go as far as to say humans have an extraordinary imagination and knows how to spin a good yarn. It’s probably the reason to why Earth is such a scientific backwater, they spend more time imagining things up than actually understand the world they live in. The Master has noticed before that cultures with excellent scientific prowess rarely produce great entertainment. You don’t have to look further than to Gallifrey to see that.

It’s not only human quirks the Master studies but the Doctor’s as well, especially his puzzling habit of picking up humans and dragging them along as he blunders through time. For some reason he seems to have a preference for young females, though the Master can’t understand why. They are not brighter than their male counterparts after all. But dutifully the Master studies the current companion, Josephine Grant, and has to admit she possesses a few endearing qualities. Her main forte seems to stamping a foot, or make a similar gesture and utter words with many exclamation marks, while doing a number of rather adorable facial expressions. As far as the Master can gather this is the main reason to why the Doctor keeps her around. If the Master was inclined to keep pets, which he isn’t, he may even understand the Doctor in this particular case. Eventually he decides that when he conquers Earth he won’t kill Jo Grant. It will undoubtedly be very entertaining to have her around and provoke her into her ineffectual but cute outbursts when he is in need of a laugh.

The Master doesn’t think the Doctor really seduces the humans he collects, but he isn’t sure. He can’t fathom how anyone would want to meld bodies when there is no chance for the more exciting melding of minds along with it. To sleep with a human must be considered an utter perversion, though that, in itself, gives it a certain allure. And as the Master can’t very well ask the Doctor about it, (just imagine how he would laugh), the Master has to figure out what it is like on his own. It strikes him that it could be a pleasant pastime to seduce the Queen of Atlantis instead of subjecting her to his usual mind control. Somewhat to his surprise he finds it is a lot more exhilarating than he has expected. After all, humans do look like Time Lord and Queen Galleia is rather decorative. Until she, with typical human fickleness, betrays him and he realises he would have had no such troubles if he had just bent her mind to his will to begin with.

It is all the Doctor’s fault, of course. If he hadn’t got himself stuck on Earth in the first place, then the Master would never have come there either. He promises himself when he has finally untangled himself from the Atlantis disaster that he will never return to this awful planet again. Unless he needs to stock up on good cigars and aged whiskey. Or pick up a new novel, or two. And he won’t, quite possibly, not kill Jo Grant the next tíme they meet.


End file.
